Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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