Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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