Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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