Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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