Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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