Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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