i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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