it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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