I am puke
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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