all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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