We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
