omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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