I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
