Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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