guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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