Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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