I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
