Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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