redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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