I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Randomize
