I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
