I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
