so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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