My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
