Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just found puke in my bra..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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