All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
