If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
