Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
