Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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