There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
