a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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