Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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