I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
