i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
