we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
