stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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