C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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