Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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