my shit smells like andre
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
