maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
