I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
