I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
