the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
