god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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