To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
