Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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