I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
