if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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