Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
