i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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