I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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