There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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