I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she looked like the before picture.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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