and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
