Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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