Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
