...so i touched it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
