whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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